The Hotel: The Chauvet Condominiums, Glen Ellen CA http://www.chauvetcondominium.com

The Skinny: Six three-bedroom, two bath condominiums tucked along a curve in downtown Glen Ellen, the Chauvet (show-vay, for those of you who butcher French like I do) is a charming 1906 brick building that’s been completely renovated. Each condo features fully-equipped kitchens with granite and stainless appliances; sleek, contemporary furnishings, the works of local artists, and stone bathrooms. Living and dining rooms can accommodate up to eight comfortably, while sleeping-wise, there’s room for six. Each unit also features a patio overlooking the pool, which offers teak loungers and tables for unwinding at the end of the day. Rates are $645/night for three nights or less, and $595/night for four or more nights or $3200 for a week.

Loved: The space, the feel, the chance to throw the kids in the water; we felt as if we lived in the home, yet it was so stylish and expansive that we truly felt as if we were far away from home. The proximity to wineries and a grocer are an added bonus. Just across the street is a fantastic market with gourmet foods, artisan cheeses and loads of wine (of course!); the take-out case is astounding as is the salad bar. Up the road are a few restaurants, while wineries are within a quick drive, including BR Cohn, which is also known for its olive oil. Just up the street is Jack London State Park – perfect place for a hike.

But: I did laundry and cooked – I hate doing that on vacation! 

The Rating: 5 stars. A perfect wind-down in the wine country, whether for a family or a few couples.

 Our rating system:  1 Suitcase – Don’t bother2 suitcases – Paging the general manager! You’ve got some serious work to do!3 suitcases – Some minor issues, but overall acceptable experience4 suitcases – Worthy of your dollars5 suitcases – Book it at any cost

The Hotel: Knoxville Hampton Inn & Suites Downtown, 618 West Main Street, 865-522-5400

The Skinny: Located in downtown Knoxville, the Hampton Inn has 55 rooms and suites, an indoor pool, a hot / cold breakfast bar (included), workout facility and business center.

Loved: I have to say all of my Hampton Inn stays lately have been fantastic – and at this hotel, especially so. With black and white photos featuring area landmarks, the upgraded rooms – including lots of pillows, lush bedding, stone in the bathroom and a more boutique-y feel, the hotel was comfortable and even somewhat coddling. The indoor parking was free and especially welcomed given all the rain we had that weekend; the staff was incredibly helpful and friendly, and the pool area was clean and well maintained. And, there was complimentary Internet – love it.

But: No buts this week.

Rating: 4 suitcases. Great value, upscale experience for the price, close to a lot of Knoxville’s attractions.

Our rating system:One suitecase  Don’t bother

Two suitcases       Paging the GM! You’ve got some serious work to do!

Three suitacses    An issue or two, but overall a good experience

Four suitcases      Worthy of your dollars

Five suitacses       Book it at any cost 

The Hotel: Hyatt Regency Crown Center 2345 McGee Street, Kansas City, MO

(816) 421-1234.

The Skinny: 700-plus rooms, two restaurants and a bar – one of which revolves, located at the top of the building; the other, a more casual eatery on the mezzanine. The bar is filled with sports memorabilia and features pub grub. Conference facilities, convenient Crown Center location, covered walkway system to Crown Center and to Union Station. A small gift shop, rooftop pool, fitness room all on-site.

Loved: Hmmm…this is tough. Had one fantastic waitress at the bar, and the hotel is situated in a convenient location between downtown/ Power & Light District and the Country Club Plaza area. Room service folks were nice, too.

But: Something was just off. The whole hotel, from the lobby to the rooms, had apparently been updated, but this update was a classic case of putting lipstick on a pig.

Yes, there were new linens and pillows on the bed, sleek lighting and even marble in the baths. But the furniture was not proportioned to the rooms, the colors were ho-hum, the doors to the rooms (and bathrooms), the elevators and other areas looked as if they hadn’t been wiped down, much less replaced, since the hotel was originally built — covered with scuff marks, dents, chips, you name it.

Other ho-hums: The service, with the exceptions noted above; the food, the overall atmosphere.

It’s not that anything was horribly dirty, or even awful – just that the entire atmosphere was tired, listless and D-U-L-L.  Not what you’d expect from a) A Hyatt and b) for $200 / night, which was the going room rate for those attending the convention.

Rating: Two suitcases: Paging the general manager – you’ve got some work to do!

The Hotel: Marriott Shoals Resort & Spa, 800 Cox Creek Parkway South

Florence, AL. 256-246-3600.

http://www.marriottshoals.com/

The Skinny: The hotel overlooks the Tennessee River and relies heavily on the Muscle Shoals music scene to set the atmosphere iin the public spaces – even in some of the rooms, including special suites which pay homage to Muscle Shoals / Florence natives and image makers, including Sam Phillips and Helen Keller. There’s even memorabilia including that of 70’s teen pop star Donny Osmond, who recorded in Muscle Shoals.

The 200 guest rooms featuring marble baths, soaking tubs, glassed showers and Bath & Body Works aromatherapy toiletries; many of the rooms have balconies overlooking the river – certainly worth asking for. A casual dining room, The Bronzeback, with patio seating joins 360, the fine dining restaurant atop a tower, offering an upscale atmosphere for dining plus a fabulous, 360-degree view of the surrounding river valley.

The 6,000 square foot spa offers separate quiet rooms for men and women as well as a variety of treatments, from skin care to couples’ massages. There are two pools – one indoor, and an outdoor pool with huge slide and fun features like waterfalls and secret swim-throughs.

Rates start at $140 and up, with junior suites starting at $250.

Loved: Having a balcony, especially on a holiday weekend; we could sit outside, drink wine, watch the movies being played outdoors – and then enjoy a front-row seat for the Labor Day fireworks. The spa was amazing, as I’ve always found with the RTJ-trail hotels, all of which are run by PCH. The service and services were wonderful at the spa, with the separate quiet rooms for men and women a truly relaxing retreat.

The hotel is on Alabama’s RTJ trail, and my sometimes-duffing husband tried out Fighting Joe, one of the toughest and most widely hailed public courses in the country. He only played nine holes, but loved every minute, despite losing too many balls to count. And nine holes plus a cart was just $38, a screaming deal.

Best of all, we were in the Sam Phillips suite – and had a jukebox full of Sun recordings to listen to, plus extra balcony space, plenty of space for the whole family to relax – and that all-important extra bathroom. A must-book if you’re visiting from Memphis.

But: The hotel is tops in Marriott’s customer service rankings, but I found the service – in the restaurant only – to be spotty at best. My husband and daughter ate breakfast separately than my son and I, and had no problem, however – so I’ll assume it was a holiday weekend snafu, given the rest of the service was tops.

Rating: 4 suitcases. Great value, perfect for a quiet weekend, spa weekend or romantic getaway.

Our rating system:One suitecase: Don’t bother

Two suitcases: Paging the GM! You’ve got some serius work to do!

Three suitcases: Some issues, but overall acceptable

Four suitcases: Worthy of your dollars

Five suitcases: Book it at any cost

The Hotel:

The Skinny: A two-building, all-suite hotel (converted from apartments) that’s boutique-y in its decor. Each suite features either a kitchenette or full kitchen (with oven, stove and fridge), revamped bathrooms, Aveda bath products, and a chocolate and blue color scheme with dark wood furniture and pewter accents. A small workout room along with the breakfast room is located in building two. In-room amenities include a flat screen TV and DVD player. Complimentary continental breakfast and WiFi; just two blocks from both the Capitol and the Capitol South Metro station. Rates from $167 /night and up.

Loved: The location - perfect for exploring the Capitol end of the Washington Mall, and easy to jump on the Metro. During the week, the area teems with congressmen, staffers and lobbyists; on the weekend, it reverts to a quiet city neighborhood. The space - was traveling with my daughter and on deadline, so needed a desk and space to spread out a bit - and our room had a sofa and dinette, a kitchen and a huge closet. The bed was cushy, and we felt like we really lived on the Hill that weekend, frequenting the neighborhood eateries, jumping on the Metro and just exploring. We felt very at home when we’d return after our days of exploring, and almost felt like we lived in that neighborhood, which added a bit of fun to our trip.

But: While the A/C in the rooms worked just fine, the hallway needs help! Roasting. And the Internet connection - whether wireless or plugged in - worked intermittently. 

Rating: 3 and a half suitcases. Good value, great location, plenty of space.

Our rating system:

One suitcase: Don’t bother

Two suitcases: Paging the general manager! You’ve of some serious work to do!

Three suitcases: An issue or two, but overall a good experience

Four suitcases: Worthy of your dollars

Five suitcases: Book it at any cost

The Skinny: The newest kid on the hotel scene in San Francisco, the Intercontinental features 550 guest rooms, including suites, on 32 floors. Located in the SoMA, or South of Market, area, the hotels is adjacent to the Moscone West Convention Center and just a few short block from the designer boutiques at Union Square. Rooms feature wood and marble and are sleekly appointed; plenty of high-tech amenities abound, including a touch-seneitive mini-bar (you touch it, it’s yours – no kidding). There’s a spa with 10 treatment rooms, a work facility and a small pool; city and bay views from the guest rooms, a lobby bar and vast restaurant.

The Raves: It’s lush, lush, lush – very hip and sleek, with lots of stylish people everywhere one looks. Despite the fact there are so many rooms, the lobby bar is small and intimate, and serves small dishes. The rooms are elegant but not ostentatious.

The Rants: Service was not what one expects from such an upscale property; just one concierge seemed to be on duty all weekend, so there was always a line; the doormen weren’t snappy, you had to flag down the cocktail waitresses. And something about the touch-it-and-you’re-charged mini bar just strikes me as unecessary.

The Rating: 3 suitcases – the lush, sleek hotel is worth a stay, well-located and comparable to other luxury properties in the city, but the service did not meet expectations.

Our rating system:

1 Suitcase – Don’t bother

2 suitcases – Paging the general manager! You’ve got some serious work to do!                                                                                                                                                                     3 suitcases – Some minor issues, but overall acceptable experience                                                   4 suitcases – Worthy of your dollars                                                                                                          5 suitcases – Book it at any cost

The Hotel:

The Skinny: Situated on 500 feet of oceanfront property, the 60-year old Surf & Sand has 164 rooms and suites, all with private balconies. The exterior is reminiscent of the old Howard Johnsons, with exterior doors to all rooms and very blocky architecture, Décor is sleek, contemporary and neutral in each of the guest rooms.

There’s a oceanfront pool with cabana-type lounging, a small clothing store / gift shop and a coffee shop on premises, with the terraced Splashes Restaurant offering indoor and al fresco dining with a spectacular view, the beachside Splashes Lounge offering libations and limited food service, and the Aquaterra Spa. Rates start at $459 and go up from there, but I found my rate of $259 on luxurylink.com, which often has special packages and pricing for the resort.

The Raves: The location is excellent, a bit out of the bustle along the main drag in Laguna, but still an easy walk to some excellent galleries, boutiques and restaurants. The atmosphere is very relaxed yet elegant; there are cozy seating areas around the open-air parts of the hotel for relaxing. The staff is super-friendly – our room was not quite ready so they sent us to the bar with some drink coupons; we had dinner and two breakfasts at the hotel and all the food was excellent, especially the breakfasts. I did not schedule a spa treatment.

The Rants: Can’t quite get over the whole ‘feels like a Howard Johnson’ thing; of course it makes sense for a beach hotel to have exterior (outdoor) entrances to the rooms, and despite all the fabulous furnishings, the lush linens, the stone in the bathroom and the incredible view, the room still reminded me of a HoJo, albeit a really dressed up one. Getting around is kind of a pain; a dark corridor brings you to the restaurant and lounge, navigating to the pool took quite a while. Couldn’t find a beach chair (on the beach) – not because they were full, but simply because there were none available. Could be that because it was March, it was too early for sunbathing – but this is California, right?

The Rating: It’s a 3 and a half; the service and location are wonderful, the furnishings are wonderful, but the user-friendliness of the hotel and the omnipresent feeling of being in a rehabbed discount hotel is hard to overcome, especially in this price range.

 Our rating system:1 Suitcase: Don’t bother2 Suitcases: Paging the GM! You’ve got some serious work to do!3 Suitcases: Some minor issues, but overall an acceptable experience

4 Suitacses: Worthy of your dollars

5 Suitcases: Book it at any price!

The Hotel:

The Skinny: The historic Battle House, built in 1852, has been re-opened in downtown Mobile, and is one of the cornerstones of the city’s downtown revitalization efforts. Close to the riverfront , the 238 rooms (including 31 suites) are oversized and almost lavish, with dark wood furnishings, elegant draperies framing huge windows (on some floors), high ceilings, and marble bathrooms. A club level features daily food presentations and an honor bar.

The sweeping, two-story lobby has been magnificently restored. There’s the Trellis Room for fine dining, the Royal Street Lounge for more casual dining, featuring live music some nights, and the recently-opened Joe Cain Café, a coffee shop which also serves sandwiches and light fare. Valet parking is $16/day, Internet access is $9.99 daily. The hotel’s spa is scheduled to open in September 2008, and the hotel is one of the partner hotels for the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail, a within driving distance of a few of the courses.

The Raves: This is a super-elegant hotel from top to bottom, from the beautiful lobby to the ultra-cool ‘whispering arches’ on the second floor – hours of fun for kids and adults alike. The rooms are spacious and elegant, the furnishings high-quality, the beds comfy. The oversized bathrooms are furnished in marble and a table-like vanity, plenty of storage space for toiletries and the like, plus a deep soaking tub. Service in the Trellis Room is very attentive and the food is very well done; the lounge is truly a place to hang out in casual comfort.

The Rants: I’m not a big fan of the honor bar on the club level; I figure most folks will have a glass or two of something and be on their way, as opposed to spend the entire night drinking, so if I were the GM, I’d offer the first two glasses free. Not really a rant, just an opinion!

The Rating: 4 suitcases. A beautiful hotel in an elegant city, and a perfect spot to lay your head after a day spent exploring Mobile or conducting business.

Our rating system:

1 Suitcase – Don’t bother

2 suitcases – Paging the general manager! You’ve got some serious work to do!

3 suitcases – Some minor issues, but overall acceptable experience

4 suitcases – Worthy of your dollars

5 suitcases – Book it at any cost

The Hotel:

The Skinny: An historic hotel, The Grand, built in 1887, features a sweeping front porch – more than 800 feet long – and 385 rooms. No two rooms are the same at The Grand, each featuring its own combination of furnishings and decor – think your rich Auntie’s summer cottage along the coast: simple yet elegant floral wallpaper, coordinating bedding, wicker or iron furnishings, milk glass lamps.

A huge breakfast buffet and lush five-course dinner are included in the rates; a ballroom features a house band that plays standards – the doors to the ballroom are ceremoniously thrown open precisely at 9 pm each evening to welcome dancers. On the property are the main dining room, a café, golf course, huge lawn for croquet, the Esther Williams pool (she filmed a movie here) and the venerable porch with its rocking chairs and amazing view of the Straits of Mackinac.

There’s a dress code for guests: No blue jeans – ever; a coat and tie for gentlemen over 11 and dresses for ladies of all ages after 6 pm. Children may opt for evening dinner programs in which the kids eat together and then play games, watch movies or engage in other activities at no extra charge.

Open only from May – October; tipping – even for housekeeping – is not permitted. Rates: Rates start at $225/night for two people; children up to 11 years of age are complimentary, while those 12-17 are an additional $55/night and over 18 are an additional $119 a night. A charge of $6.5 per person is added for the baggage handling from the ferry pier, and does not include transportation from the ferry, which runs about $4 per person, one way.

The Raves: An iconic American summer hotel, The Grand is just that in about every way. No magnetic card keys here; clunky brass key rings engraved with room numbers are handed out at check-in. Rooms are simply but elegantly furnished – no fancy mattresses, per se, but very comfortable all the same. Breakfast and dinner service is personable and the food is excellent. Be sure to spend some time reading a book while rocking in a chair or playing cards at a table on the porch – one of the simplest pleasures, indeed.

The Rants: The elevators are slow – but really, do we care? No, unless you have trouble using the stairs. Beware of the non-guest visitors to The Grand; they pay a premium for the treat of visiting – now $15 per adult – but the pay policy never seems to keep the droves away from the hotel. In other words, assert your presence as a guest if you want to snag a rocking chair – ask the cocktail waitress for a little help in finding a seat, or choose a spot away from the main entrance to the hotel.

The Rating: 5 suitcases. A dreamy, charming hotel worth the price.

 Our rating system:1 Suitcase – Don’t bother2 suitcases – Paging the general manager! You’ve got some serious work to do!

3 suitcases – Some minor issues, but overall acceptable experience

4 suitcases – Worthy of your dollars

5 suitcases – Book it at any cost

The Hotel:

The Skinny: It’s Christmas all year round at The Inn at Christmas Place; the holiday-themed hotel has 154 rooms and suites, many with balconies overlooking the commercial splendor that is Pigeon Forge. Some rooms sport fireplaces or whirpool tubs, and the décor in all is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas 24/7,  with holiday swags or full-blown trees, holly-bedecked bathroom accessories, even red and green bedspreads.

There’s an outdoor pool with waterslide – and lights which cycle red, green and white; tropical Christmas tunes can be heard at both the outside pool and the smaller inside pool. There’s a small arcade as well. Santa reads to and visits with the little ones on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and a continental breakfast is included. From 10 AM to 9PM daily, a three-story Glockenspiel, complete with figurines and brass bells, plays Christmas carols. Rates: $149 and up; every now and then there are rates as low as $119.

The Raves: In the interests of honest reporting, let me qualify this review with the following statement: I love Christmas and everything about it, so I reveled in the whole over-the-top Christmassy-ness of the Inn.

Walking in, there are huge decorated trees, clerks wearing holiday vests (a few look like the big man, if you get my drift) and a huge fireplace in the lobby. The rooms are indeed large – we had a basic room, walked in hoping to heck there was one available – and they charged me only $99, and they could have made a fortune off me as that particular day I would have paid ANYTHING - but I digress. The hotel is very clean and bright, the room was very well-kept and featured a refrigerator – and the bed was one of the most comfortable I have ever experienced at a hotel, only to be outdone by the bed at the Trump in Chicago. Take that, Heavenly Bed.

The Rants: Breakfast was just okay. And if you’re even the least bit Scroogy,  the Christmas-is-everywhere may send you running.

The Rating: 4 suitcases. Perhaps the best hotel choice in all of Pigeon Forge, and one the kids – or the kid in you – will love. (See daughter Maddie writing letter to Santa - fabulous!)

Our rating system:

1 Suitcase – Don’t bother           

2 suitcases – Paging the general manager! You’ve got some serious work to do!   3 suitcases – Some minor issues, but overall acceptable experience

4 suitcases – Worthy of your dollars

5 suitcases – Book it at any cost